Summer is the busiest season for weddings, and choosing the card is one of those small jobs that turns out to be far harder than it looks.
Standing in front of a rack of them, or scrolling a shop late at night with the wedding two days away, is its own particular kind of pressure. You want to get it right, because unlike the flowers and the cake and the playlist, the card is one of the few things from the day that the couple actually keeps.
I design wedding cards for a living, and even I take my time over it. So here's how I go about it.
Start With the Couple, Not the Card
It's tempting to shop for "a wedding card" as a category, but that's how you end up with something that could be for anyone.
Try starting somewhere else instead. Picture the two of them. What are they like together? Are they the couple who cried through the whole ceremony, or the couple who got married at eleven in the morning and went straight to the pub afterwards? Do they collect tarot decks? Did they meet on a road trip? Is one of them the sort of person who keeps every card they've ever been given in a shoebox under the bed?
Once you've got them properly in your head, the right card tends to announce itself.
I designed the Adventures Wedding Card with one very particular couple in mind, and I'll happily admit it was partly us. My husband and I eloped to Las Vegas, and there's nothing quite like driving away from your own wedding with the whole of it still ahead of you. That's the couple on the front, off into the sunset in a pink cadillac. If you know someone who'd rather have the adventure than the seating plan, that card was made for them.
Think About Where You Sit in Their Day
Your relationship with the couple shapes the card just as much as their personalities do.
If you're the maid of honour or the best friend, go big and specific and a bit silly. You've earned it. If you're a colleague, or a plus one who's met them a couple of times, a beautiful card with a short, warm message is exactly right, and it's genuinely what they'd want from you.
So, choose based on where you sit:
- Very close to them: something with real personality, an inside joke, a design that means something to just the two of you
- Wider friends and family: something lovely that suits their taste
- Colleague or plus one: something elegant and understated, with plenty of room for a short, generous message
Getting Their Names Right
This is the part I'd most like you to take away with you, because it's where even the loveliest card can miss.
There are two assumptions worth gently setting down before you choose. The first is that the couple are changing their names. Plenty aren't. Some are keeping their own, some are double barrelling, sometimes one takes the other's. The second is the title itself, the Mr, Mrs and Ms of it. Mrs announces to a room that a woman is married. Mr says nothing at all about a man. Once you've noticed that, a card that decides a bride is now a Mrs starts to feel like somebody else making a choice on her behalf.
So if you know how the couple describe themselves, use exactly that. And if you don't know, or you're not completely sure, gender neutral is always right and never a compromise.
That's why I designed gender neutral wedding cards into the range deliberately rather than as an afterthought. The Newlyweds Wedding Card simply says "congrats newlyweds" in gold foil. The Swans Wedding Card has no words on the front at all, just two swans forming a heart shape with their necks, inspired by The Lovers tarot card. Both suit any couple, and neither reads as the safe option.
When Mr and Mr or Mrs and Mrs is the right call, I've made those too, and there's something I want to say about how they look. There's a shorthand in the card world where a same sex wedding gets a bright rainbow and a lot of volume. I've steered away from that on purpose. Gay and lesbian weddings are elegant, considered, beautiful weddings, exactly like any other, and the couple you're buying for may well have chosen a soft palette and a quiet ceremony in a room full of candles. So the Mr and Mr and Mrs and Mrs cards are gold foil and confetti on soft backgrounds with wavy cut edges. They sit happily alongside the rest of the collection rather than announcing themselves from a different shelf.
The Details I've Thought About
A few things I've built into every wedding card in the range, because they're what makes the difference on the day.
- A size that suits a wedding. Ours are a neat upright A6, with some designs turning landscape. Modern proportions, and small enough to tuck into a clutch, so you've got a hand free for a glass of champagne rather than carrying a huge card around all afternoon.
- Shapes made to be kept. The uniquely shaped designs, cut into a heart, a champagne bottle, an arch or a gem, are drawn as keepsakes. They're the ones that end up in the memory box with the order of service and a pressed flower.
- A beautiful, luxury weight of card. It has real substance in the hand, which feels just right for a wedding celebration.
- Sparkling foil. Several designs are finished with stamped gold foil that catches the light, for a little extra luxury.
Blank Inside, So the Words Are Yours
Every wedding card in the collection is blank inside. There's no printed verse, which means the whole page belongs to you.
That page is the part the couple will read again in ten years. Your handwriting, your turn of phrase, the thing that only you would think to say. It's what turns a beautiful card into something they keep.
If a blank page feels a little overwhelming, I've written a whole guide on what to write in a wedding card, with examples you're very welcome to borrow and make your own.
Funny or Romantic?
What I really want is for every couple to open a card that speaks to them, and to whatever it is that makes their relationship theirs. For some people that's hand painted flowers and swans in the moonlight. For others it's something that just says f yeah in shimmering gold.
Both are right. The only thing worth checking is that you're picking the funny one because it's really them. A wedding is one of the very few occasions where being earnest is welcome, so if you love them, you're allowed to say so.
When to Buy It, and When to Hand It Over
There's a lot going on in the run up to a wedding. There's an outfit to find, maybe a hotel to book, flights to sort if it's a destination wedding, and if you're in the bridal party there's a hen do to help organise on top of all of it. Buying the card early is one lovely little thing you get to tick off and stop thinking about, and it means you can take your time choosing rather than deciding in a hurry.
Most people in the UK bring the card on the day and leave it in the box or on the gift table. If you're posting a gift ahead of time, send the card along with it so the couple can connect the two.
And if the day itself has already been and gone, send it anyway. A card that arrives the week they're back from honeymoon, once the confetti has settled, gives them a lovely reason to sit inside the whole day all over again.
My Wedding Card Edit This Summer
A few favourites from the wedding card collection right now:
- Botanical Wedding Card: a bride and groom among giant blossoms, cut into a unique shape, with a "Just Married" caption and a glint on the ring
- Heart Congrats Wedding Card: cut into a heart, hand lettered on a pastel Tiffany blue
- Tied the Knot Wedding Card: hand painted doves tying a knot in stamped gold foil
- Floral Wedding Card: pastel flowers against a deep midnight background, cut into a gem shape
- Newlyweds Wedding Card: gender neutral, gold confetti, wavy cut edges
- Mr and Mr and Mrs and Mrs: gold foil and confetti on soft backgrounds
- Swans Wedding Card: two swans forming a heart, inspired by The Lovers tarot card
- Pop The Champagne: brand new this summer, cut into the shape of a champagne bottle and glasses
Every one of them is illustrated by hand in my London studio, printed and finished here in the UK on card from certified, responsibly managed forests, and fully recyclable when it's finally had its day. Which, if the shoebox under the bed is anything to go by, won't be for a very long time.
One Last Thing
Choosing a card with a bit of thought behind it is such a small thing, and it makes people feel genuinely special. You don't need to find the objectively perfect wedding card, because there's no such thing. You just need the one that looks like the couple you know, and then something true written inside it.
That's the one that ends up in the shoebox.